INSULTS, threats and mythical movie monsters were all part of a verbal stoush that erupted in the NSW Upper House last week as politicians behaved badly in the debate over the Shooters and Fishers Party amendment to the Native Vegetation Act.
The controversial issue of native veg has often seen tempers flare, and on November 11 the heat of the debate led even the most staid of MPs to boil over.
The debate took place in the NSW Legislative Council and politicians from all sides took pot shots at one another in turn, before the amendment which was designed to make it easier for farmers to clear their land was voted down.
Labor's Steve Whan called The Nationals' Duncan Gay an "idiot", and was made to apologise.
Duncan Gay told the Greens' David Shoebridge to "go put his head in a bucket", while previously saying that Mr Whan had his head up his posterior.
Proving that comments about heads being placed where they shouldn't were not limited to one side of the debate, Mr Whan said The Nationals had their heads in the sand when it came to managing resources in NSW.
All direct quotes below were taken from Hansard transcript of the Upper House debate on Tuesday 11 November.
"In February 2010 Kevin Humphries promised the Nationals would repeal the Native Vegetation Act after the 2011 election," Mr Whan said.
"In a series of over-the-top comments and promises the Nationals tried to make the people of rural NSW believe they would completely remove or change the Act if elected. We have now had three years and seven months of inaction on the part of this government.
"...the Nationals have consistently had their heads in the sand," he said.
"Better than having their head up their arse like you," Mr Gay replied.
"I note the comment by the leader of the government that I have my head up my arse. That is an example of the sorts of standards we get from that idiot opposite," Mr Whan shot back.
Mr Gay and fellow Nationals Member of the Legislative Council (MLC) Niall Blair pointed out the government was in the process of introducing self assessable codes to allow farmers to clear parts of their land more easily, as well as initiating the Biodiversity Legislation Review.
Mr Blair implored the Upper House, particularly those on the crossbenches, to work around their differences to produce good outcomes on native vegetation.
"When we disagree we should talk more, not less. I know that the dialogue is improving..." Mr Blair said.
It certainly wasn't improving later in the debate, when Mr Blair and Greens' MLC Jeremy Buckingham almost came to blows.
Trouble began when Mr Buckingham assured the House he was not referring in any way to Mr Blair, when he spoke of a place called Bald Knob.
It escalated quickly when Mr Buckingham brought up the murder of Office of Environment and Heritage employee Glenn Turner at Croppa Creek, which followed a long-running dispute over land clearing.
"This issue is the horse that the government flogs and flogs, and then gets bad outcomes," he said.
"Government members incite the community and inflame tensions. That is what happened at Croppa Creek."
Mr Blair was livid.
"If you ever say that I incited Croppa Creek again I will deadset come after you," he spat.
Mr Blair then apologised and withdrew the comment.
Like a harmless hobbit wandering onto a battlefield of political mud-slinging, the Christian Democratic Party's Paul Green attempted to use some movie magic to focus the debate on the impact on farmers.
"Some opponents of this bill would have us believe farmers are a bunch of irrational, destructive hylophobes who, like the Orcs of Isengard from The Lord of the Rings, simply cannot wait for the order to bulldoze every tree in sight and turn their properties into barren, arid wastelands," Mr Green said.
"This is nonsense, it could not be further from the truth."
Ultimately, however, neither the Christian Democratic Party nor the Shooters and Fishers were able to gain much fellowship from the combatants of Liberal, National, Labor or Greens persuasion.
All the politicians who had spent the afternoon insulting and threatening one another ended up voting together to defeat the Shooters and Fishers amendment bill, leaving farmers waiting for either the self assessable codes or the Biodiversity Legislation Review to provide some clarity on the issue of land clearing and native vegetation.