WAYNE Wigham sees too many men who reckon they can’t be the rock of the family if they admit they have a mental illness.
But a former National Rugby League player would know a thing or two about being tough.
And he says, if men suffering in silence with their mental health want to be the rock for their family, they need to man up to the fact they have an illness and get help.
“When people do get help, it can save a marriage,” said the former Balmain player.
“You can be a better husband or wife or father.
“I had a friend contact me and he said his wife was leaving him.
“I said ‘she’s not leaving you mate, she’s leaving your depression.’
“If you’re not getting help the perception is that you don’t care anymore.”
Wayne suffered with depression for years before finally seeking help from the Black Dog Institute.
Wayne was put on medication and he learned quickly that he didn’t have to live through grief.
Learning mental disorders were illnesses like any other that require treatment was the first step for Wayne.
But the second step was realising how common depression was.
“When you understand the symptoms are common, it’s like, ‘oh, I’m not making it up.’
“You can’t feel bad about copping a disease – you just have to get treatment – it’s bad luck but that’s it.”
Since he walked through the doors of the institute eight years ago, he’s managed not only to deal with his depression, but also to help countless others in his role speaking to various groups on behalf of the Black Dog Institute.
In the past few months, he’s toured western NSW as part of the Act-Belong-Commit (ABC) program, speaking to rugby league players about mental health.
ABC is a joint program between the Rural Adversity Mental Health Program (RAMHP), the Centre for Rural and Remote Mental Health, and the Department of Sport and Recreation.
The program was rolled out across the area that takes in the Barwon-Darling Rugby League competition.
Run in three stages, it started pre-season in April and May with a community gathering, followed by an education season and finally a community festival held from June to August.
Wayne spoke to footy players from 13 events across the State’s west, in bowling clubs, RSLs, community centres and even on the footy field.
“When I first started speaking to groups, I wasn’t sure if it would have any impact,” Wayne said.
“But statistically you know you are going to get to that one person.
“You know that at least one person will speak to you after that and I think if I can help just one person – that’s a win.”
If you are in an emergency or life is in danger call 000 immediately. Support is available for anyone who may be distressed by calling Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467, Lifeline 131 114, Mensline 1300 789 978, or Kids Helpline 1800 551 800.
Visit The Land's new mental health site for more personal stories, resources and tips for how to offer - and ask for - help. Click here
Jenna Cairney
Deputy editor of The Land.
Deputy editor of The Land.
