Well, it's time for Farmer Joe to make his pick on Farmer Wants a Wife, and this can only mean one thing - he will take his shirt off 16 times.
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I'm not complaining.
However, I do question the opening scenes of him splitting wood shirtless. Nobody wants splinters in their nipples.
He heads off to Tamborine Mountain in Queensland to meet Sarah's family.
They meet at a local waterfall, where the cascading water plummets into a filthy brown puddle. It's mesmerising.
Those hoping Joe would get his kit off and splash around in the water will be disappointed.
They head off to meet mum Sue, sister and two best friends.
Over lunch they all press the couple for details about their steamy dates.
"It was very romantic," Sarah says, which is slightly diminished when she shoos a giant blowfly away from her face.
Friend Emily is the designated interrogator.
She has a rugby boyfriend, so she's concerned because Joe plays that he might be a big wally.
As usual, the interrogator asks questions they know producers forbid the farmer to answer, like 'are you in love?' or 'do you shave your chest?'.
Joe says he really likes Sarah but he's not in love yet.
Emily is crabby - she expects Joe to blurt out the answer.
Emily speeds off to ruin Sarah's day, telling her Joe just stuttered and looked away and didn't answer the question about being in love.
So after Emily throws a spanner in the works, she lets Sarah and Joe trot off for a date in Brisbane that will no doubt go swimmingly.
The chat comes up, and Sarah admits Emily sent a text apologising to Joe for asking questions he can't answer.
He defends Emily for being a good friend and asking tough questions, so Sarah gets the poos that he is defending her friend.
Understand? Me neither.
They make up and have a kiss, but things are little awkward.
So this is a great time to go and visit his other girlfriend Keely in Yeppoon.
They go for a short sail in Keely's parents' yacht.
Yes, their yacht.
Then they head off to the yacht club (again, yes the yacht club) to meet mum, dad, and brother Kyran.
Joe has to tell them that for their first date they got their kit off and painted each other. Well, this is comfortable.
They go back to eat fancy-pants food on the yacht. Keely says she has a present for him.
Is it diamonds? Nope - it's a drawing she has done of Farmer Joe's kitchen.
He asks her how she would go on the farm.
"I'm not afraid of hard days," she says, gently swaying on her family's yacht with a glass of champagne in her hand.
Poor Joe looks like he is in a real pickle.
But it's time for his decision.
Joe puts his shirt on, Keely sweeps around the room looking out windows, while Sarah stands on the verandah red-eyed and tearing leaves apart.
Joe waits in a barn, and Sarah turns up looking stressed as all get-out.
Then we get shots of Keely driving in.
When she and Joe have given each other a dorky wave, she heads in. He looks like he's been crying.
But then he tells Keely that she could have been his person at one stage.
"I feel like our timing is wrong," he says, welling up.
"Our younger selves would have gone on an adventure and taken on the world together, but the responsibilities of the farm mean I won't be able to do the adventuring that you still need and want."
Keely is absolutely gorgeous about it, gives him a big smile and wishes him all the best.
Joe has a good old bawl when she leaves, and so do we.
But he doesn't take his shirt off, so we stop after a while.
We jump back to Sarah.
"I love the person you are, I love how strong and determined you are," he tells her.
"I don't have all the answers for us, but I do see me falling for you in the future.
"I want to tackle the future with you by my side, and us as a team. I want someone who doesn't need me, but wants me. Sarah, do you want me?".
She says yes and he swings her around.
Before the end of the episode, we got to see Farmer Andrew and Jess from 2021 get married.
It's pretty gorgeous.
Here are the main pointers:
- Joe had a haircut and shave, and is still with Sarah
- The lining of Andrew's suit is photos of him and Jess. Awww
- Andrew's dad Chops is still a legend, and Andrew's mum is at the wedding, so she obviously got over him stealing her flowers
- Jess's veil engulfs a bridesmaid during the ceremony and nearly knocks her into a river.
Previous Blog Entries:
- FWFWW 2024 Preview: Farmers, wives, Sam and the bloggers return for 2024
- FWFWW Ep 1: A psychic, a biter and plenty of flirting
- FWFWW Ep 2: Tie your hair up we're heading to the farm
- FWFWW Ep 3: Double date drama afoot
- FWFWW Ep 4: Drama and dismounts at the rodeo
- FWFWW Ep 5: Fish kisses and dinner party disputes
- FWFWW Ep 6: Meddling mums, a sheep headbutt and three stunners
- FWFWW Ep 7: Heartbreak and strained hammies at the ball
- FWFWW Ep 8: It's draining time with Doctor Sheep
- FWFWW Ep9: Paint, pineapples, ponies and parental guidance recommended
- FWFWW Ep10: Enter the Toddster, Nat's shoulder pat, plus foot stampin' during glampin'
- FWFWW Ep 11: Trains, trotting and tanties as five girls hit the road
- FWFWW Ep 12: Meeting the family goes from woo to poo
- FWFWW Ep 13: Farmer Tom says I love you
- FWFWW Ep 14: Gals battle it out for final dates
- FWFWW Ep 15: Darth Vader on bikes, time theft and back to dirt for Bert
- FWFWW Ep 16: Love-bombing, inside dogs and another dinner walkout
- FWFWW Episode 17: Farmers Todd and Dustin are in love...not with each other